Sometimes the ‘what ifs’ still get me.
What if I had ended that relationship any sooner? Would I have studied abroad? What if I studied something differently altogether? What if I stayed in school another year, what if I learned a language? Where could I be now – if I hadn’t narrowed the search, and limited myself just for you?
What if I ever told my childhood crush how I felt?
What if I ever demanded a relationship from the boy who wouldn’t commit?
What if I hadn’t sacrificed so much of myself for you? What if I don’t even realize the extent of what I gave up? Who would I be now, where would I be, without those sacrifices?
What if I don’t deserve any better? What if I keep repeating those mistakes? What if I can’t ever be the person I think I can be?
What if I don’t have all the potential I think I have?
What if I’ve already missed some chances I needed to take?