“The minute you tell a human who they are, something valuable is lost”
I’ve always hated being put in the box, but I’ve never thought of it as losing something. But she’s right- the box starts so open and big and with fuzzy edges. Eventually the box gets smaller and more rigid, more defined. Until you don’t fit anymore.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. My daughter is becoming a girl. She’s always eschewed anything stereotypically feminine for that which is “cool” and rugged and associated with being a boy. She declared at four that she was a vegetarian and at seven that she was officially a tomboy. The transition to a developing body, to the social gymnastics of preteens and all the cultural expectations that come from being female have crept up on us.I was surprised at the fear and anger and sadness that washed over me when thinking about the changes and lessons she will experience. While preteen advice is burgeoning with woman-positive messages, I sat glumly thinking about my miserable transitions into adolescence and adulthood. There are my truths and there are the things I want her to believe. The gap between the two feels like a canyon.
She’s acutely aware of the…
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